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May 20, 2024 

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LEVERAGED BUYOUT: A method of corporate takeover or merger popularized in the 1980s in which the controlling interest in a company's corporate stock was purchased using a substantial fraction of borrowed funds. These takeovers were, as the financial-types say, heavily leveraged. The person or company doing the "taking over" used very little of their own money and borrowed the rest, often by issuing extremely risky, but high interest, "junk" bonds. These bonds were high-risk, and thus paid a high interest rate, because little or nothing backed them up.

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ELASTICITY AND DEMAND SLOPE

The slope of a straight-line demand curve, one with a constant slope, has constantly changing elasticity. It includes all five elasticity alternatives--perfectly elastic, relatively elastic, unit elastic, relatively inelastic, and perfectly inelastic. No two points on a straight-line demand curve have the same elasticity.

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Fact 4: Our Monopolized Markets

Our pedestrian's jaunt through the economy is not, unfortunately, an unrestrained shopping spree for confectioneries, spark plug tools, and Houston, Texas. We have other important errands to run. At the moment we need to hike over to Shady Valley's exclusive provider of cable television services, the Merciless Monolithic Media Masters Cable Television Company, Inc., to inquire about a mysterious fee that appeared last month's bill.

The good news is that the Merciless Monolithic Media Masters (the 4M people) Cable office is a mere 2 miles (3 kilometers for the metrically inclined) from the Shady Valley Central Town Sprawling Hills Shopping Mall. A hop, skip, and a moderately long jump later, our excursion through the economy takes us to the front door of the 4M Cable Television Company where I hope to discover why last month's cable bill included a $3,569 charge for something called "The Vacation Channel." I didn't even know I had a vacation channel. (But, I'm sure it's a great channel, and if I don't have it, then I will certainly subscribe. Please don't disconnect me.)

Of course, because this an afternoon workday, the doors of the 4M office are locked. I can almost make out, through the expensive stained glass windows, what appears to be several Merciless Monolithic Media Masters Cable Television employees, with champaign bottles in hand, dancing on expensive mahogany desks. Let's not disturb them. As they say in the cable business, an upset worker is a disconnected customer.
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BEIGE MUNDORTLE
[What's This?]

Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time going from convenience store to convenience store looking to buy either a birthday gift for your father that doesn't look like every other birthday gift for your father or a green fountain pen. Be on the lookout for letters from the Internal Revenue Service.
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This isn't me! What am I?

The word "fiscal" is derived from a Latin word meaning "moneybag."
"Many people think that if they were only in some other place, or had some other job, they would be happy. Well, that is doubtful. So get as much happiness out of what you are doing as you can and don't put off being happy until some future date. "

-- Dale Carnegie

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