You are the type of person who could have been the inspiration for the phrase "salt of the earth". Family and friends can always count on you when they need help moving furniture. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time searching for rummage sales looking to buy either handcrafted decorations to hang on your walls or throw pillows for your bed. Be on the lookout for crowded shopping malls. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter S, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 870356. Your preferred shopping venue is thrift stores. Your special symbol is the comma (,).

As a Brown Pragmatox, you are down-to-earth and practical. You are hard working and industrious. You are frugal to the point that you might even refrain from making a purchase that you really, really need. Doing so often causes problems down the road. You definitely go with function over form and substance over style.

The process of willingly trading one valuable commodity (good, service, or resource) for another. The key term is "willingly," which distinguishes voluntary exchanges from involuntary exchanges, such as those created by government taxes. Voluntary exchanges are the foundation of market transactions.

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Our little excursion through the economy has had, thus far, its ups and downs. My cable bill remains permanently confused and my checking account has a large property-tax created imbalance, but at least the pain in my tooth stops before hitting my toes. I think we deserve a little rest and relaxation at the Shady Valley's own tourist mecca, Happy-Time Gala-World Fun-Land Extravaganza Amusement Park. Let's take a brief respite from our pedestrian trek and give the soles of our jogging shoes a well-deserved rest.

The Happy-Time Gala-World Fun-Land Extravaganza Amusement Park has the world famous Monster Loop Death Plunge roller coaster, guaranteed to make riders yearn for the pleasures of a Siberian forced labor camp. There's also the Enchanted Haunted Horror House filled with serial killers, chainsaw murders, and IRS auditors. For the more timid, and fortunately, for those more interested in the workings of our economy, the merry-go-round is the ride of choice.

Two familiar faces are enjoying the circular trip on their fiberglass ponies. The slender guy with the bushy mustache is Dan Dreiling, the drywall man. I had him repair a hole in my living room wall caused by an over-excited vacuum cleaner a few months back. The disgusted look on his dusty face tells me that I must have overlooked his $100 bill. The other recognizable rider is Pollyanna Pumpernickel a precocious pet store owner who has somehow neglected to pay me the $100 due for hamster-sitting services which I rendered a few weeks ago. Her furtive glances suggest that she is well aware of her liability.
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-- Abraham Lincoln, 16th US president

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