You are the type of person who always goes with function over form and substance over style. Family and friends can always count on you when they need help moving furniture. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time flipping through the yellow pages trying to buy either a green fountain pen or a handcrafted bird house. Be on the lookout for spoiled cheese hiding under your bed hatching conspiracies against humanity. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter X, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 617148. Your preferred shopping venue is thrift stores. Your special symbol is the comma (,).

As a Brown Pragmatox, you are down-to-earth and practical. You are hard working and industrious. You are frugal to the point that you might even refrain from making a purchase that you really, really need. Doing so often causes problems down the road. You definitely go with function over form and substance over style.

The money function in which money is used as the common benchmark to designate the prices of goods exchanged throughout the economy. Unit of account, or measure of value, means money is functioning as the measuring unit for prices. In other words, prices of goods are stated in terms of the monetary unit. This is one of four basic functions of money. The other three are medium of exchange, store of value, and standard of deferred payment.

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This may be the greatest day of my life. The musical group to top all musical groups -- The Strollers -- has just released its latest CD with a song that's certain to be a foot-tapping classical. Of course, you know the song of which I speak -- "Sidewalking." Let's stop into the Musical Sound CD Emporium in the Shady Valley Central Town Sprawling Hills Shopping Mall and fulfill my dreams. Everyone in Shady Valley, however, does not share my joy. As the seventeen year old Emporium clerk, Alicia Hyfield, completes my transaction, she confesses more than a bit of disgruntlement over here just-issued paycheck. A little investigation reveals some displeasure with the size of the FICA deduction. Her disgruntlement isn't lessened to know that this is for the government's social security program that's suppose to provide a source of income in her golden years. She seems more than a bit skeptical of ever seeing any returns. Maybe we can alleviate her concerns (and mine) with a quick run through social security.
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-- Anna Pavlova, ballerina

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