You are the type of person who doesn't particular care how something looks as long as it works, as long as it does the job. Family and friends never, never, never ask your advice about the latest fashions, and rightly so. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time watching the shopping channel trying to buy either a New York Yankees baseball cap or several magazines on home repairs. Be on the lookout for malfunctioning pocket calculators. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter Z, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 713056. Your preferred shopping venue is thrift stores. Your special symbol is the comma (,).

As a Brown Pragmatox, you are down-to-earth and practical. You are hard working and industrious. You are frugal to the point that you might even refrain from making a purchase that you really, really need. Doing so often causes problems down the road. You definitely go with function over form and substance over style.

A basic condition of human existence which means that people are never totally satisfied with the quantity and variety of goods and services the consume. It means that people never get enough, that there's always something else that they would want or need. Unlimited wants and needs are one half of the fundamental problem of scarcity that has plagued humanity since the beginning of time. The other half of the scarcity problem is limited resources.

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It's time to give up our attempts to enter the Merciless Monolithic Media Masters Cable Television Company, Inc. office and take care of other pressing business -- taxes. The next stop on our excursion through the economy is the Shady Valley City Hall, where we need to momentarily, and begrudgingly, pause so that I may pay my semi-annual property tax bill. This is the least enjoyable stop -- at least for me -- on our journey. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble.

Of course I hate to pay taxes! But, then again, who doesn't? Taxes are one of those annoying and evil necessities of life that simply can't be avoided.

Or can they? Do we have to pay taxes? A quick visit to a bookstore will produce dozens of books telling you how to avoid taxes by investing here or buying this or doing that. Better yet, if we could rid ourselves of the inefficient, bloated, incompetent, do-nothing government, then you and I wouldn't have to pay taxes. Right? We could use our hard-earned income to buy stuff that we want, rather than letting the inefficient, bloated, incompetent, do-nothing government spend it on stuff that we don't want, don't know anything about, and will never need. Right?
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-- Joe Paterno, football coach

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