You are the type of person who is in a constant struggle with the forces of good and evil, and you're losing the battle. Family and friends will not ride in the car when you drive, unless they have nothing better to do for the next day and a half. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time at the confiscated property police auction looking to buy either a flower arrangement with daisies and carnations for your uncle or a coffee cup commemorating next Thursday. Be on the lookout for pencil sharpeners with an attitude. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter T, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 821548. Your preferred shopping venue is mail order catalogs. Your special symbol is the question mark (?).

As a Gray Skittery, you are ambivalent, indecisive, and uncertain. You are in a constant struggle between the forces of demand and supply, production and consumption, good and evil... and you're losing the battle. You have trouble making decisions and choosing from among the seemingly infinite number of options that you perpetually face. Your shopping experiences are inevitably confusing.

A tax equity principle stating that people with a different ability to pay taxes should pay a different amount of taxes. This is one of two equity principles related to the ability-to-pay principle. The other is horizontal equity, which states that people with the same ability to pay taxes should pay the same amount of taxes.

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Our pedestrian's jaunt through the economy is not, unfortunately, an unrestrained shopping spree for confectioneries, spark plug tools, and Houston, Texas. We have other important errands to run. At the moment we need to hike over to Shady Valley's exclusive provider of cable television services, the Merciless Monolithic Media Masters Cable Television Company, Inc., to inquire about a mysterious fee that appeared last month's bill.

The good news is that the Merciless Monolithic Media Masters (the 4M people) Cable office is a mere 2 miles (3 kilometers for the metrically inclined) from the Shady Valley Central Town Sprawling Hills Shopping Mall. A hop, skip, and a moderately long jump later, our excursion through the economy takes us to the front door of the 4M Cable Television Company where I hope to discover why last month's cable bill included a $3,569 charge for something called "The Vacation Channel." I didn't even know I had a vacation channel. (But, I'm sure it's a great channel, and if I don't have it, then I will certainly subscribe. Please don't disconnect me.)

Of course, because this an afternoon workday, the doors of the 4M office are locked. I can almost make out, through the expensive stained glass windows, what appears to be several Merciless Monolithic Media Masters Cable Television employees, with champaign bottles in hand, dancing on expensive mahogany desks. Let's not disturb them. As they say in the cable business, an upset worker is a disconnected customer.
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