You are the type of person who would have the word "antiestablishment" tattooed on your backside if getting tatoos on backsides wasn't such a fashion trend. Family and friends hesitate to broach any controversial topic when you're around for fear of a verbal tongue-lashing. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time calling an endless list of 800 numbers looking to buy either a T-shirt commemorating last Friday (you know why) or a rotisserie oven that can also toast bread. Be on the lookout for pencil sharpeners with an attitude. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter N, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 745836. Your preferred shopping venue is flea markets. Your special symbol is the backslash (\).

As an Orange Rebeloon, you are very much the rebel and the contrarian. It is your nature to go against the grain. When everyone else is buying, you sell. When everyone else is selling, you buy. You go against the trends. You disdain fashion. If it's hot, you're not. You would march to your own drummer and dance to your own tune, if doing so wasn't so trite and conventional.

The average elasticity for discrete changes in two variables. The distinguishing characteristic of arc elasticity is that percentage changes are calculated based on the average of initial and ending values of each variable, rather than initial values. Arc elasticity is generally calculated using the midpoint elasticity formula. The contrast to arc elasticity is point elasticity. For infinitesimally small changes in two variables, arc elasticity is the same as point elasticity.

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Our pedestrian's jaunt through the economy is not, unfortunately, an unrestrained shopping spree for confectioneries, spark plug tools, and Houston, Texas. We have other important errands to run. At the moment we need to hike over to Shady Valley's exclusive provider of cable television services, the Merciless Monolithic Media Masters Cable Television Company, Inc., to inquire about a mysterious fee that appeared last month's bill.

The good news is that the Merciless Monolithic Media Masters (the 4M people) Cable office is a mere 2 miles (3 kilometers for the metrically inclined) from the Shady Valley Central Town Sprawling Hills Shopping Mall. A hop, skip, and a moderately long jump later, our excursion through the economy takes us to the front door of the 4M Cable Television Company where I hope to discover why last month's cable bill included a $3,569 charge for something called "The Vacation Channel." I didn't even know I had a vacation channel. (But, I'm sure it's a great channel, and if I don't have it, then I will certainly subscribe. Please don't disconnect me.)

Of course, because this an afternoon workday, the doors of the 4M office are locked. I can almost make out, through the expensive stained glass windows, what appears to be several Merciless Monolithic Media Masters Cable Television employees, with champaign bottles in hand, dancing on expensive mahogany desks. Let's not disturb them. As they say in the cable business, an upset worker is a disconnected customer.
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