You are the type of person who inevitably succeeds at just about everything you attempt to do, except staying organized. Family and friends get irritated when you explain, for the umpteenth time, the difference between a partial derivative and a total derivative. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time surfing the Internet looking to buy either a pair of handcrafted oven mitts or a coffee table shaped like the state of Florida. Be on the lookout for spoiled cheese hiding under your bed hatching conspiracies against humanity. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter L, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 465371. Your preferred shopping venue is the Internet. Your special symbol is the exclamation point (!).

As a Purple Smarphin, you are the brightest and most intelligent person you know. And that goes for shopping, too. You know exactly what you want. You know exactly what it costs. You know exactly when and where to buy. But, of course, shopping is only one of the many activities that attracts your intellectual attention. You shop when you need to and buy if have to, but shopping is not the end all of your life.

A diagram illustrating the basic Keynesian theory of macroeconomics, with aggregate expenditures measured on the vertical axis and aggregate production measured on the horizontal axis, with the relation between aggregate expenditures and aggregate production represented by a positively-sloped aggregate expenditures line. The "cross" aspect of this diagram is the intersection between the aggregate expenditures line and a 45-degree line indicating every point of equality between aggregate expenditures and aggregate production. The "Keynesian" aspect of this diagram is derived from John Maynard Keynes, the developer and namesake of Keynesian economics.

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Hunger is, of course, an avoidable malady when ambling through the economy. At the present, I'm easily tempted by a hamburger, fries, and large cola -- a pedestrian meal if there ever was one. As luck would have it, we've found ourselves at the door of Big Ott's Boiled Burger Buffet. Luck, though, is not totally on our side. Big Ott's has a large sign prominently posted at the entry to his establishment. It screams in no uncertain terms: NO PEDESTRIANS ALLOWED. As a well-known, card-carrying pedestrian, I am, to say the least, taken aback. Why on earth would Big Ott's Boiled Burger Buffet refuse service to pedestrians? A quick quiz of an employee reveals that Big Ott once swerved off the sidewalk to avoid striking a pedestrian, causing extensive damage to his sleek, new OmniMotors XL GT 9000 convertible sport coupe. His anger has been since extended to all who travel by foot.
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-- Elbert Hubbard, editor

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