You are the type of person who is happiest when thinking, when challenged by the abstract mental intricacies of the world. Family and friends consider you the smartest person they know, and rightfully so. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time searching the newspaper want ads trying to buy either a key chain with a built-in flashlight and panic button or a green and yellow striped sweater vest. Be on the lookout for mail order catalogs with hidden messages. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter Z, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 883793. Your preferred shopping venue is the Internet. Your special symbol is the exclamation point (!).

As a Purple Smarphin, you are the brightest and most intelligent person you know. And that goes for shopping, too. You know exactly what you want. You know exactly what it costs. You know exactly when and where to buy. But, of course, shopping is only one of the many activities that attracts your intellectual attention. You shop when you need to and buy if have to, but shopping is not the end all of your life.

The head of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System, and thus the person who is effectively in charge of monetary policy for the United States. The Chairman, one of the 7 members of the Board of Governors, serves as Chairman for a 4-year term, and also is Chairman of the powerful Federal Open Market Committee--the Federal Reserve Committee that sets the course of monetary policy. Being positioned at the top of the central banking authority of the United States, the Chairman is one of the most powerful, if not THE most powerful, individuals in the economy.

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I know word travels quickly among pedestrians of Shady Valley, but perhaps you haven't heard the latest. Pollyana Pumpernickel, the proprietor of Pollyana's Pet Palace, is no longer a pet proprietor. She's fallen on hard times, and fallen quite hard. Her husband of twelve years, Paul Pumpernickel has dumped her and their three young children to pursue insurance alternatives with Tricia Comer -- Smilin' Ted's sister and business partner in the All Comers Insurance Agency. Pollyana is distraught, to say the least. Paul Pumpernickel had been the dutiful househusband and caring father in his marriage partnership with Pollyana, but those duties fell onto the heavily burdened shoulders of Pollyana. The burden was too much. Pollyana's Pet Palace plundered into oblivion, leaving Pollyana penniless and jobless. Her only alternative was our government's public assistance program -- what you and I know as welfare. She's not pleased with her current social status, and neither, apparently is Winston Smythe Kennsington III, who ridicules poor Pollyana at every opportunity.
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-- Sarah Ban Breathnach, writer

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