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May 4, 2026 

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FEDERAL TRADE COMMISSION: An independent federal agency run by a 5-member commission that's charged by Congress with preventing unfair and deceptive business activities and other various monopoly practices that tend to inhibit competition. The FTC was set up in 1914 to help the Justice Department enforce a growing number of antitrust laws. It has the authority to restrict assorted market monopolizing practices, such as mergers, false or misleading advertising, price discrimination, and price fixing. Since the time of it's formation, the FTC has grown into an important consumer protection agency.

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NET DOMESTIC PRODUCT

The total market value of all final goods and services produced within the political boundaries of an economy during a given period of time, usually a year, after adjusting for the depreciation of capital. Net domestic product, usually abbreviated NDP, is one of five key National Income and Product Accounts measures reported regularly (every three months) by the Bureau of Economic Analysis. The other four measures are gross domestic product, national income, personal income, and disposable income. Net domestic product has largely replaced a comparable term, net national production.

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Collecting WELFARE

I know word travels quickly among pedestrians of Shady Valley, but perhaps you haven't heard the latest. Pollyana Pumpernickel, the proprietor of Pollyana's Pet Palace, is no longer a pet proprietor. She's fallen on hard times, and fallen quite hard. Her husband of twelve years, Paul Pumpernickel has dumped her and their three young children to pursue insurance alternatives with Tricia Comer -- Smilin' Ted's sister and business partner in the All Comers Insurance Agency. Pollyana is distraught, to say the least. Paul Pumpernickel had been the dutiful househusband and caring father in his marriage partnership with Pollyana, but those duties fell onto the heavily burdened shoulders of Pollyana. The burden was too much. Pollyana's Pet Palace plundered into oblivion, leaving Pollyana penniless and jobless. Her only alternative was our government's public assistance program -- what you and I know as welfare. She's not pleased with her current social status, and neither, apparently is Winston Smythe Kennsington III, who ridicules poor Pollyana at every opportunity.
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APLS

BEIGE MUNDORTLE
[What's This?]

Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time strolling through a department store wanting to buy either an AC adapter that works with your MPG player or rechargeable batteries. Be on the lookout for jovial bank tellers.
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This isn't me! What am I?

The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

-- Aristotle

GARCH
Generalized Autoregressive Conditional Heteroskedasticity
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