You are the type of person who always goes with function over form and substance over style. Family and friends look to you as a pillar of strength, and rightly so. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time at the confiscated property police auction wanting to buy either a coffee cup commemorating the 2000 Olympics or a birthday gift for your grandmother. Be on the lookout for poorly written technical manuals. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter F, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 419533. Your preferred shopping venue is thrift stores. Your special symbol is the comma (,).

As a Brown Pragmatox, you are down-to-earth and practical. You are hard working and industrious. You are frugal to the point that you might even refrain from making a purchase that you really, really need. Doing so often causes problems down the road. You definitely go with function over form and substance over style.

A formal market exchange in which prospective buyers make bids to purchase a commodity. An auction is an effective way of exchanging commodities by bringing together buyers and sellers. Auctions are commonly used to exchange financial instruments, agricultural commodities, personal assets, and works of art. Three notable types of auctions are English, Dutch, and sealed-bid.

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No pedestrian excursion around the economy could be even remotely considered complete without a stop at the Shady Valley Museum of Traditional Family Life. Just beyond the freshly painted white picket fence and the newly mown lawn resides a full-scale, life-like, fully functional model of the traditional family. The two-car garage houses Mom's good old reliable family stationwagon right next to Dad's sensible four-door sedan. Inside the humble, but well-kept abode, we can find young Billy, who aspires to a career as a highly-paid doctor, and his sister, little Debbie, who hopes to marry a highly-paid doctor. The faithful family dog, Spot, is resting comfortably at the feet of our traditional husband, provider, and father, who has just returned from a long, hard day on the office. He has worked long and hard on this day to provide for his traditional family. Purring at the feet of our traditional wife, mother, and homemaker, is Fluffy, the family cat. Our traditional wife is busily preparing the night's traditional family fare of pot roast, potatoes, and green beans. After the meal, she will gaily clean the evening's dishes, a fine ending to her day that has been filled with shopping, baking, and cleaning. How quaint!
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-- Winston Churchill, British prime minister

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