You are the type of person who is the poster child for the word "frugal," and you might even buy the poster if it cost less. Family and friends can always count on you when they need help moving furniture. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time strolling through a department store hoping to buy either decorative garden figurines or a wall poster commemorating last Friday (you know why). Be on the lookout for high interest rates. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter F, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 441289. Your preferred shopping venue is thrift stores. Your special symbol is the comma (,).

As a Brown Pragmatox, you are down-to-earth and practical. You are hard working and industrious. You are frugal to the point that you might even refrain from making a purchase that you really, really need. Doing so often causes problems down the road. You definitely go with function over form and substance over style.

A joint federal-state government system, created by the Social Security Act (1935), that provides income benefits to unemployed workers. Funding is obtained by taxes on employers. The system is mandated by the federal government, but operated by each state. While, the amount and duration of benefits differ from state to state, recipients generally receive about 50 to 70 percent of weekly wages for 26 to 39 weeks.

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I know word travels quickly among pedestrians of Shady Valley, but perhaps you haven't heard the latest. Pollyana Pumpernickel, the proprietor of Pollyana's Pet Palace, is no longer a pet proprietor. She's fallen on hard times, and fallen quite hard. Her husband of twelve years, Paul Pumpernickel has dumped her and their three young children to pursue insurance alternatives with Tricia Comer -- Smilin' Ted's sister and business partner in the All Comers Insurance Agency. Pollyana is distraught, to say the least. Paul Pumpernickel had been the dutiful househusband and caring father in his marriage partnership with Pollyana, but those duties fell onto the heavily burdened shoulders of Pollyana. The burden was too much. Pollyana's Pet Palace plundered into oblivion, leaving Pollyana penniless and jobless. Her only alternative was our government's public assistance program -- what you and I know as welfare. She's not pleased with her current social status, and neither, apparently is Winston Smythe Kennsington III, who ridicules poor Pollyana at every opportunity.
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